visited my old website and saw some of the jobs I designed when I worked before. Some of them are my own projects which I was being conned ( the company never paid me ) but it never bored me to sit infront of the computer and design yet another one. It makes me powerful, playing with the tools and after spending hours and hours on the canvas, seeing the end result is always cheer me up. NNot that I'll be satisfied for the first time, even though my boss said it's very good I'll always find some lame excuse to do more and more. So I've been thinking to moved some of them to my fotopages so that I can share them with you. check it out soon, ok?

Cooked nasi lemak for lunch today,special request from En lanun. Chatted with my old friend Ben from incubator where I used to worked- he's engaged now ( don't know when ) and planned to have the wedding this year. So I suggested 070707 and he said his fiancee also wanted that date and asked RM7777 as the dowry :) goodluck finding that money!! ha ha... he must be freaked put if he read this.
Still no reply from that job I applied yesterday. Call me stupid or laugh at me, but I've already imagined how my life is going to changed rapidly if I get the job- how I have to wake up at 5 am to cooked, getting ready for worked, send my baby to the nanny, En lanun dropped me off at the jetty ( it's not like I can't drive myself but parking there is quite costly so it's better that way ) and boarded the boat to get to my workplace ( I think it's a hotel because they asked if we have any experience in hotel management. I don't, but we all have been to hotels before so I guess I can tell a bit about it ). After that I took the boat again back to Lumut, En lanun has already waiting to pick me up, stopped by the nanny's house to pick Balqis and back to our home.. home sweet home! Of course I have cooked so what's left is get refreshed and reheat the food, we are ready for dinner!
Ok, too simple & easy you think? I know it's not as simple as it sounds but at least that's what I have in mind. I may not have enough time for myself, or for Balqis and my husband but I really want to work, it's a risk I'm willing to take. Many women has done this so why it has to be different for me? If they can do it, so am I. I am challenging my self. Bring it on, baby!

What a boring day. Nothing interesting to watch on Astro today. En Lanun is on duty today so he's won't be at home until tomorrow morning, then he has one sortie at 11 am after that so he'll coming back maybe at 2 pm. arrghhh... bosan ya amat. Keep doing the same thing over & over again. Saw 1 job ad as human resource @ Pulau pangkor so I applied. I've always wanted to go there but the time is never right- I'm pregnant before, then the baby is still small. She's almost 11 months now, guess I can get my plan back on track. I have to do something for my self, or else I'll end up burnt myself uselessly. Mak already said if I wanted to go for an interview just told her, she'll come over & help me with Balqis. I know the right place for a wife is right at home with her husband & children but this is just an exceptional. With our current finance situation, I couldn't afford just staying at home. Not now.

Esok CNY. En lanun had a long weekend until Tuesday so we decided to get home for the holidays. Plus he had a reunion for his old school- Teknik Bukit Piatu, Melaka.

Finally I have the courage to unlist my name from jobstreet.com's newsletter. Because it just keep sending me jobs ad that not only suitable for me, it depressed me more to see that there are so many jobs out there and I can only look at them, read them and then delete them. What's the use? It clustered my inbox and I don't see any reason why I should keep receiving them so I might as well get my email ad out of their system. For good. Don't know why I took this long to figure it out, to do this. If there is really a job for me, I should be working now, isn't it? Oh I forgot, I already have a fulltime job- a housewife. Oh, that's why. maybe all other employee knew that and they all decided not give me any other opportunities. Great.


Haven't write for quite a while. A lot to write actually but I just don't have the time. Or rather, I couldn't find the time. sigh. Anyway let's start with some updates on my not-so-interesting life.

Balqis is almost 9 months now. She can clapped her hands, climbing everything she see- furnitures, beds, table, tv cabinet, myself. So sometimes she lost her balance and fell down. I have to be right at her back all the time just to make sure she doesn't hurt her herself. But accident happens, they do. It happened in our bedroom. I just finish putting her clothes on and turned around to find the baby oil to put on her hair- and while I was looking for the bottle, she apparently reached for the side of the bed and, well, somehow she fell down, hitting her mouth on the way down. I managed to get her up close photo here.
En Lanun was working that saturday and since she's bleeding quite a lot I called him and he rushed back. She's already stop crying at that time, chuckling at the sight of her daddy :). I applied some ointment and cleaned the wound, so it's not so bad. Alhamdulillah..
En lanun's sis & family came last saturday to borrow our car. Her husband had an accident and the car was wrecked quite bad, and the school is going to be open next week so she asked if she could borrow our car. We rarely use the Wira, we usually use kancil. Her husband works at KL, so it's difficult for her to go anywhere without a car.
Looks like we won't be going back to kg this Hari Raya Aldiladha. En lanun had to work, as usual. I hope we can go home when my sister gives birth end of next month, Jan 07. How time flies. And I'm still like this. It struck me sometimes how I could be like this. Does my parents ever has any regret for sending me to the uni and not being able to give them anything in return? I know it's their responsibility but I should do something to return back to them.. It sadden me sometimes, but I guess it's call sacrifice. I have to sacrifice for my own fate. This is what I chose, so I better make the best of it. If I can't get any work I better be good as a wife & mother. And to prove that, I think I haven't slept more that 2 hours consequently without having to wake and feed my baby, or change diapers, or just cuddled her when she doesn't want to sleep. Infact last night I had to take out my baby's poo because after 4 days not be able to poo, it got harden inside and her stomach aches so much, she cried so much that I couldn't take it anymore. I took her to the toilet and literally use my finger and put it inside her to take it out. Twice. Alhamdulillah, after that she was able to sleep better. Her bottom was become tender and redden, it hurts whenever I touch them. Pity my baby..I guess after this we should be more careful of what we fed her ( she wants everything that we eat ).
Next year En lanun will start the attachment to Kota Kinabalu. The arrangement was to send pilots & taccos ( that's him - tactical officer ) alternatively at least 6 weeks & maximum 2 months. Won't be seeing him so much after this. But the good news is he promised to buy me something everythime he goes there :) now I can make a list of what I want :)
Later guys, my baby has wake up :)

En Lanun & I decided to invite our neighbours & friends that lived a couple blocks away to our house the day before yesterday. So I've been cooking from morning until maghrib, stopped only because we run out of gas. Gosh, I never thought i'd be that tired. Cooking is one thing, Balqis is another thing. She's so energetic that I almost lost my patience. But alhamdulillah I managed, hardly. I prepared nasi himpit, masak lodeh, chicken rendang, sambal goreng ikan bilis and baked chocolate cake. All of them came, we chatted & getting know of each other because before this we just met unformally, raising hands if we saw them infront of their house. Alhamdulillah all our neighbours are very kind & we changed phone numbers, just incase. The last one left the house at 11.15 pm. And now I started to noticed the backache, the legs, the neck, every part of my body is strained. maybe because I never hosted anything like this before, and maybe I did it all by myself ( En lanun had 2 sorties that day and came home only 6.45 pm) but I'm just glad it was over, succesfully.
Am proud of my self :)

a bit dusty in here, sorry. haven't got the time & the tool to get connected to the internet since I left our laptop at kg. When En lanun got back to Manjung for his duty, I didn't follow him since it's only the 2nd day of raya so we thought Balqis & I stay at Melaka for a little while but so many things came up that he couldn't make it back here for at least another 3 weeks, I had to back by bus. It's impossible to bring everything- Balqis stroller's, walker's & everythings elses, I just packed in this & that. Took a bus to Klang, then took a taxi to get to lanun's sis at Meru Indah. He drove from Manjung after Jumaat prayer & arrived at 3.30 pm. Little I know how much I miss him :) With the laptop left, and the other laptop was having some problem with the screen- it went blank- nothing much I can do but wait until we go back home. But last night En lanun 'hacked' the laptop, and voila! It's fixed! So now I can continue my writing again.
Balqis is 7 months plus, lasak giler =p she has mastered the crawling phase so well & are now climbing everything that is higher than the floor, really it's tiring running for her all the time, afraid that she would fall when she got off balance ( she did actually, 2-3 times banging her head to the floor or the table ) but at the same time I feel thrilled and can't wait for her to walk. I know, people say when they walk then there are more problems but at least she can enjoy everything outside without having me to hold her all along.
Not cooking today, gonna attend 1 open house at 3 pm today. yummy yummy :)

It's already the 5th day of hari raya, and I just have the time to check my email & write something here. Firstly, let me wish you all Selamat hari raya Aidilfitri, maaf zahir batin.. Hope you got the cards I sent, and to those I didn't send, it must because I ran out of cards to send to you. This year it's my turn so I had the chance to helped my mother with the preparations, cooking & decorating the house amidst the chous with Balqis.
During the first day of hari raya as usual after performing the Aidilfitri prayer we gathered at the living room & asking forgiveness to each other. After that we went to my grandma's house, and then to 4-5 other houses- all of them are the 'must-go', meaning we went there every year. En Lanun, Balqis & me all wearing new clothes of the same color- maroon. After that we went back home, rest a bit and after Zohor we gent to my neighbours' houses. Since they all are my relatives so of courses have to go & bring En lanun so that they'll know my hubby & daughter. We have to be hurry because en lanun only have 2 days off, he have to go back to lumut to work. So we specified the first hari raya for my side and the next day for his side. He went back at 2 am and arrived safely at 6 am.
He came back yesterday and planned to complete visiting our relatives when he got one call from the ops room saying there's one ops today. Since he's already on his way back, he decided to come home first, and this morning after sending me to my folks home, he drove back to lumut at 8 am. Pity him.. I didn't go along since he'll go for a week sailing next tuesday.

Alhamdulillah... due to the hazy weather the ops was cancelled until further notice..he he...