Balqis fell from the stairs yesterday. I didn't know how because I wasn't there. I felt bad, but she's really a handful lately and I can't do anything whenever she wanted to climb the stairs but to stay behind her until she made it to the upstair ( I can't cheat by taking her all the way up, she'll wriggled and wanted to climb it herself ). I never leave her before but today I was cooking in the kitchen and I was afraid the rice will be 'hangit' so I left her for a few seconds. Then I heard a loud thud and she started to cry. I rushed to her and found her lying on the last stair with one hand at the rail and her face facing down. Her lower lip scratch a little bit, apart from that I didn't see anything else- she can walk and moves as usual. I picked her up slowly, then hugged her softly and soothed her and after 30 seconds she wanted to climb that stairs again. Can't believe it. Moral of the story- we should buy & installed that protective gate to prevent that incident from happening again. Yup, because it looks like she'll never learn from her experience at this stage.
Iera's wedding was yesterday. Can't wait for azie to upload her photos and tell me everything about the wedding I missed. Somehow I felt like I didn't try harder to be there. I don't know :(
En lanun's ship is docked at Kuantan yesterday for minor repairs and getting ready to sailed again for another week. Can't wait to see him next week..

I thought I had it all under controlled. But I was wrong.
My goodfriend from my schooldays is getting married this weekend. At first I planned to go with En lanun but later he found out he's scheduled to go sailing within that period ( as he is away now ) so I make other arrangement to go there with my friend who also went to the same school and she's working here and she wanted to go to the wedding as well so it's just convinient for me. We even planned to buy her one big wedding present by sharing our money. Early this week she said she had to go to Kuantan right after the wedding ( sunday) because she has to attend a course there so I think it's ok, I'll just get a bus to Melaka from Kajang but until this evening I haven't heard anything firm from her ( my friend here ). And just now she sms me saying she's going with her friends (whose attending the same course) and they are going to stay in a hotel. Now how was that going to make me feel? I just found out that I'm possibly not going to attend my bestfriend's wedding ( we used to be in a clique ) which, I really really really wanted to go. Too bad she couldn't make it to my wedding and now I'm going to do the same thing to her. I called her just now and told her all about it and she said it's ok... there's nothing she can do, i can't go there by bus with Balqis and carrying bags at the same time. Balqis can walk a bit but most of the time I still have to carry her especially when in crowd. Furthermore En lanun didn't allow me to do so.. too many risks he said and I definitely understand that.
Right now I'm just feeling so sad. the wedding is just something I've looking forward to go when I first heard about it last month. Now this. I'm so sorry Iera, guess the closest I can be at your wedding is my prayer for your happiness and may the love you found in each other will never fade....

2nd day. I took Balqis to the clinic and it almost 2 hours and a half when we finally settled everything- she got an MMR injection and cried about, 10 seconds. Alhamdulillah.. like I always said anak askar lah katakan =p I thought after that I might go pay some bills or paying the cars loan or something but after playing & walking all around the clinic for more than 2 hours, Balqis started to get edgy and refused to sit still in the car seat ( no more baby seat, it's a disaster trying to put her into it ) and wanted to get up and kept reaching for me. So I just drove straight home. Alhamdulillah so far she hasn't show any signs of fever or anything.
List of things to do for the next 12 days:
  • Pay all bills
  • finished painting the kitchen's window grill
  • repair my punjabi suit ( it's too long )
  • watched World Trade Centre cd ( the one with Nicholas Cage )
  • what else.. maybe washes the cars
  • shopping for Iera's wedding present

that's all?'s going to be a long, long 12 days...

One day passed by. He called from S'pore saying the ship will be there for 3 days before sailing to Kuantan. And they are going for sight-seeing this evening. I hope he bought something for me and Balqis :) am watching Astro's Fun with Dick & Jane- so hilarious I had to force myself from laughing too loud and wake Balqis up.
Will take Balqis to the clinic tomorrow morning for her appointment that has been postponed for 2 weeks because she had the chicken pox. Hope she won't get fever after the injection.
Another 13 days to go. Hmmph.

[ background music: Lonely by Akon ]
en lanun belayar ari ni. for 2 weeks. and he just been away for a few hours I've already felt so, so lonely. of course with balqis with me all my attention is on her but now when she's asleep, lying so peacefully on her matress covered with her daddy's kain pelekat, i felt so alone. this is the 3rd time he had to go for excercise after balqis was born. the 1st time was 7 days, when we first moved into this house, the 2nd time also for a week when balqis was 8-9 months old. this time it's longer- 2 weeks. after that he works as usual for a week and then off to Teluk Sepanggar, Sabah for at least 6 weeks. then if everything works as plan, he'll attend a course in US for 3 months. don't know what will i do at that time, maybe i'll spend most of the time at melaka if i haven't got any job at that time. i've applied a job as HR exec at Malayan Flour Mill here at lumut, i really hope i'll get the job not only to fill my spare time, it's also will be a good addition to our budget. after i applied en lanun and i discussed the possibility if i get the job how to manage the house chores and balqis. he then asked
me what will i buy with the money and when i answered (it's a long list ), he actually stop talking for a long time. then he said, he hope i'll get the job so that i can fulfill my own necessities, because at this time being he just couldn't afford to buy it all for me. it touched me, really, for he had to swallow his pride and ego to say and admit that to me and so i said, not to just ease his mind but the truth is, he had done so much for me that i thought i couldn't ask for more. whatever it is that i dream to buy is just my personal inner thought, being out of job for so long and so used to have my own money in my hand, i think it's not wrong if i wanted all those things i want. i deserve it, that's all i think. he can give me everything but not now, i do understand that that's why i never push him or demand anything that's too much from him. i think my chances are pretty good,considering not many people want to work this far. will do my best if i get the interview, i promise myself silently.
balqis has changes a bit. well, a lot actually. dah pandai merajuk kalau x ikut cakap dia or if she doesn't get what she wanted. she'll stomped her feet and cried loudly with tears running so fast, people will think that we are hurting her. and the second she gets what she wants, all the crying and stomping gone so fast, all that's left was the smile so sweet, it must be the victory smile. she also reacted when i raised my voice, or when i talked softly she looks at me right in the eyes like
she understand what i'm saying before she turned back and continues doing whatever she's doing before that. so far she obeyed en lanun's command better than me, don't know why.
i've thought of what to do while en lanun was away but right now my mind is blank, so full with his face and voices and everything, i just have to sit down doing nothing and let my mind wandering far to the south china sea where he's now. what he's doing, has he eat, what he's wearing, etc. so used to have him around me, it's a bit awkward not to see him. but his everywhere, of course, i just need a few days to get myself together and then i'll be good. looks like tonight i might share the kain pelekat with balqis *sigh*
miss u hon.a lot.

Alhamdulillah...Balqis has turned one year old last week, sorry I haven't got time to write sooner here. We had celebrated her birthday twice ( lucky girl ) once when we were at Melaka and the second one here at our own house at Manjung. Will upload the pictures on my fotopages ( as soon as after I could find the digital camera. Must have misplaced it somewhere in the house ).

But I wanna tell you about the special present she got just 2 days after she turned one- she got chicken pox! Poor my baby.. but I must say she's one tough baby ( anak askar lah katakan =p ) because despite all the uncomfortable feeling, the itchiness, the high fever, she still behaved like herself- active, playing like there's nothing wrong happened to her, merengek pun sket2 aje. Alhamdulillah.... taklah susah sangat nak menjaganya. She was supposed to have her one year immunisation last Monday but since she got the chicken pox, the doctor just gave her medicine and 2 weeks 'off' before she has to come back and had the injection done. Even the doctor said she's very cheerful for one patient who has chicken pox :) that's my girl!

Here's my girl Balqis with her birthday present from Abah. Happy birthday sayang..