Being a housewife, is a fulltime job. And I mean, fulltime. All the time. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. It's not like a normal 9-5 job where you can just leave ur work at 5 o'clock sharp and start to tidy ur desk and ready to come home. I know some of u work in shift or even have longer working hour but that's not the point here, not in this entry, I'm just trying to get the picture, ok? But when ur workplace is ur house, and ur staff or in my case my 'boss' is ur kid(s) and ur knowledge and ur skills must be multiple in different area- the kitchen, house chores, laundry, backyard, frontyard- I'm just so tired sometimes. And the most important things is, you can't leave ur work. How ironic. Not complaining or anything, I, don't know. Doing the house chores and cooking and tidying and cleaning is one thing, tackling my 1 year 4 months old baby girl in another major thing. Right now, she's just so handfull. I have to sweep and mopped the floor like, every 10 minutes. One second she's crashing the biscuit crumbs on the sofa, the next second she spilled her drink on the floor or the carpet, which usually the stain won't come out no matter how many times I tried to scrub them or wash them. The next thing she likes to play on the sofa and started to throw the cushion down on the floor. And then her toys, I don't how many times I picked up the toys only to have them back on the floor. I have tried to teach her pick up her toys after she has done playing but right now she's more interested in taking them out than putting them in the box :) And she enter the kitchen and open my cabinet, rummaged into my neatly stacked tupperwares, picked one or two that she likes and took them to the front and banged them on the floor or the aquarium or any surface she could find. She took my magazines and tore the pages, she dunk my reader's digest into her bowl of soup, she climbed the chair and started dancing on the table after she threw down everything on the table- mugs, tissue box.

The list was endless. She also loves to climb onto me whenever I lay down on my back so I always lay on my side if she's there to protect my stomach. The only time I have to rest is when she's asleep, and that's the time I used to take my bath, or surfing the net, or rearrange and tidying my cabinet, or just lay down to catch my breath. It's even clearly that she's more demanding now and since I'm the only person she's able to find, therefore I really have to fulfill her every needs. At night, as I lay myself down on the bed, I was suppose to sleep but I was too tired, I just lay still and enjoy the few minutes or at best, 1-2 hours before she stirrs and it's time to wake up and nurse her. It takes a while to adjust to the routine, for now I have stop breastfeed her so I have to make sure eveyrthing is ready to prepare for her milk or it's going to be a disaster.

I noticed since my pregnancy is coming to the 16th weeks I get tired easily, and if I do something that needs extra energy or if I pushed too hard, trying to pick up something heavy,I can feel a bit of pain especially at the part just below my stomach. I know it's not good, but what can I do, I'm the only one incharge of this house and if I don't take care of several things, no else will help me. I'll just have to take these things slowly or just leave it there until En lanun is back. And that's another a month and a half. And as I stated before, bukan nak merungut or anything, watching her grow every day infront of me, knowing she's going to be someone when she's older with my guidance, when she hugs me & kisses me fiercely and holds me like she never wanna let go, is really worth every minutes of it. This is just me, sharing my everyday experience with my life and my girl. And looking back, I have a lot more to learn and learn, to be a better mother to my kid(s), soon :)